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3
May

Balloon Animal

posted by rachel, May 3, 2012

Internet, prepare to become a fool if you ever have babies. A fool for LOVE. And as we all know, love makes us do some pretty silly things. We won’t mention that time when I created an entire website to ask Simon to attend my sorority prom/dance/whatever you call it back in college. Nope. Not gonna talk about how cringe-inducing THAT was.

So you do crazy things for love because you’re head over heels in love with that man. But then you go and have his babies and WHOAH NELLIE. A whole new level of humiliation ensues. You begin making crazy faces to make that baby smile. You hop up and down on one foot to make them laugh. You read Green Eggs & Ham at ungodly hours of the morning because they are just so darn precious with their little boy morning breath and you cannot help yourself. No. No, you cannot. You sing “Little Bunny Foo Foo”. IN PUBLIC.

And then there was tonight. We were driving home from having supper, which, naturally, included having a balloon animal made by the local clown. (No, I’m not being mean, he really was a clown.) Can I be frank? Our track record with balloon animals is deplorable. Goldfish from Walmart have better hopes of living a high quality of life with us than balloon animals. (Which leads us to a whole other discussion about why I excel at keeping myself, my child, and my husband alive, but NOTHING ELSE. Not even grass.) Anytime the balloon animals meet their untimely but expected demise, Jude erupts into unintelligible sobs. So as we headed out into the windy evening, I made sure to hold steady to the balloon poodle, named Comet Nutcracker Santa Claus. Then, as we drove, ambling through the neighborhood, I decided to roll the windows down in the car.

What happened next was nothing short of fate. It was like an invisible hand reached into the car – I kid you not – and snatched up poor doomed Comet Nutcracker Santa Claus. And I found myself literally gasping as I watched the balloon animal get sucked out of the car. Simon saw it and he too felt what was unsaid between us: “What do we tell Jude?!”

I know. Dramatic for a balloon animal.

So what did we do? After a couple of minutes, Simon turned that car around and I began searching the horizon for Comet. Simon spotted him (her? it?), and slowed the car down. Jude is still clueless as to what we are doing. Simon rolls the car to a stop and I leap from the car across the street and grab the sopping wet balloon animal out of the gutter where it is now covered in crap just as a pair of too-cool-for-school guys are jogging by. I spring back to the car in my skirt and hand the balloon animal back to Jude.

“Smooth move there! Hehehehe Nice save har har har” chortle the joggers.

Excusez-moi?

HARDY HAR HAR HAR. See how funny YOU are, Mr. Fancy Pants Jogger Man in the face of a sad & crying boy missing his beloved balloon animal! Hrmph.

And when we get home? Yup. There lies Comet Nurcracker Santa Claus forgotten. On the floor. So glad I bothered springing across the street in my short skirt, facing humiliating hipster joggers.

Fool for love, I tell ya.

Let's Chit-Chat { 1 }

19
Apr

Growing up

posted by rachel, April 19, 2012

This morning we were getting ready for the day. Jude bopped into the bathroom when I called him into brush his teeth and get his hair in some semblance of order.

“MOM! Can you fix my hair to make it stand straight up?”

“Like a mohawk? Like we do in the bathtub sometimes?”

“YEAH!”

Seeing as how we are no strangers to big hair around here (ahem. Referencing photo below), I thought, sure. Let’s mohawk it up. Why not?

This sense of boundless enthusiasm and one-of-a-kind personality is what I adore about Jude. I love that he’s his own man and I see an individuality in him that I’m sure every mother sees in her own child. And I love that he’s fearless. Simply put, he’s just Jude.

So we faux-hawked him in the bathroom and I giggled as I applied all kinds of special hair creams to make it stand up. I told him to run into his Daddy and show him. Proudly he scurried off and I could hear him exuberantly telling Simon about fixing his hair.

But then, about 15 minutes later, he comes crying to me as I wrapped up fixing my (big) hair. “Mommy, I want you to put my hair down,” he sobs.

“What? Why?” I ask, confused at the sudden turn of events.

“I don’t want the kids to laugh at me at school today.”

Guys, at this point my heart pretty much shattered into about a billion pieces. And I struggled with words as I thought about all the different things I wanted to say. Of course I don’t want kids to laugh at him, but at the same time, I wonder, “Why are kids so mean?” And then, “They were mean when I was a kid, too, come to think of it.” So I stood there and softly brushed out the fauxhawk and we had a little talk about things. I walked away from the conversation feeling unsettled. It’s just hair, and I’m sure that now, hours later, he’s completely forgotten all about it.

I remember my mother distinctly and specifically telling me through the years, “Rachel, you have got to be yourself. That’s all there is to it.” And, as mothers tend to be, she was right. The few times in my life when I’ve sunk into sadness have been when I haven’t been true to myself, when I’ve let others’ perceptions become more important than who I am and what I know to be true. Being true to yourself is tough. It often means going against the grain, and being totally different than anyone else. It’s fraught with periods of loneliness because, well, sometimes being your own person means going against everybody else. And frankly, They don’t always like that, do They?

I look at Jude and I want to say the same thing. “Baby, you’ve got to be yourself. That’s all there is to it.”

Let's Chit-Chat { 11 }

10
Apr

More New Light Fixtures!

posted by rachel, April 10, 2012

Are you sick of me talking about how light fixtures are the jewelry of the home? Listen, clearly I’m a girl who loves me some jewelry so it’s only natural that I would love jewelry for the home too! Ever since we switched out the wrought iron chandy in the breakfast nook, I’ve been hot on the trail for other fixtures. I’ve been particularly fantasizing about getting rid of the - ahem – boob lights upstairs. You know what I’m talking about – those rounded flush mount ceiling fixtures that seem to be ubiquitous in stores like Home Depot or Lowe’s. Searching for light fixtures online is practically my favorite thing, so when I was Craigslist-stalking the other day, and fell upon a super-cute pendant light from Pottery Barn Kids, I practically squealed with delight. I emailed the seller and went on my merry way.

About an hour later, my cousin’s cutie pie wife called. “I see you’re interested in the light fixture I’m selling on Craigslist!” “WHAT?!” So there you have it. It’s like the six degrees of Kevin Bacon. We cracked up about what a small world it is and she graciously gave it to me for free.

So now I present to you the before (boob light – ugh) and the after (fabulous pendant!).
Artwork

I’m also happy to report that I installed the cute thing all by myself after asking my engineer brother if I would (a) burn the house down or (b) electrocute myself in the process. After he reassured me that I’d avoid either unfortunate demise, I buckled down and got busy with the screwdriver. I’m not going to tell you that it was super easy by myself. There might have been lots of grunting and mumbling under my breath. And of course, whenever you do DIY stuff, you’re bound to run into weird things in your house. Such as the giant square hole that was cut into the ceiling underneath (erm, above?) the original light fixture. As I unhooked it all, giant fluffy clouds of insulation rained down on me and hung precariously until I got the rounded molding put back up. UGH.

That night as Jude went to bed, I prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let the light fall down on the baby in the night.”

Aperture

Speaking of the precious angel, I’ve been debating whether or not to tell this particular story because it’s kinda gross. But now that enough time has passed, I think I can tell it because I know someday I will laugh. The key word here is someday.

A few weeks ago, Jude had been sick, so I had the humidifier out by his little bed. As I would make his bed, I noticed that the rug was a little damp. Hmm, I must be turning the humidifier up too high. So I’d just lay a towel down in front of the humidifier. As the week went on, Jude improved and the humidifier was no longer needed. And yet the rug seemed, well, kinda damp still. Hmm. Finally one afternoon I was putting Jude down for a nap and I stepped barefoot on the rug. It was definitely wet. A terrible thought occurred to me.

“Jude, why is this rug wet?”

His eyes got big. REALLY big. And I saw him visibly sink into the bed and huddle under the sheets a bit more. “Because I go peepee on it,” he almost whispers.

I feel my eyes pop out of my head. I swear, literally pop out.of.my.head. “WHAAAAAAAAT?!”

Internet, the child had been getting up out of bed in the night and peeing on the rug as if he were a puppy on a fire hydrant. FOR FUN. BECAUSE HE COULD.

::sigh:: It has taken me several weeks and a good rug cleansing to get over it.

We don’t need a puppy. WE HAVE A JUDE.

Let's Chit-Chat { 18 }

14
Dec

Busyness of the Season

posted by rachel, December 14, 2011

Are you relishing in the season or are you overwhelmed by the busyness? I find myself swept in the tide of the latter, but I’m making an attempt to enjoy each day as it comes. Isn’t it funny, though, how we can set ourselves up for failure by expecting perfection? There’s so much pressure, I think, in making memories, especially at big events such as holidays or birthdays.

Take my little advent calendar, for example. I keep thinking, “Oh, how marvelous it will be when we participate in whatever day’s awesome activity together! The memories! He’ll remember it foreverrrrrrr.”

Well, let me just say that I hope he doesn’t remember a couple of them forever because they’ve been complete & utter motherhood failures on my part. Day no. 10 for example. We planned on baking cookies and decorating our IKEA gingerbread house but as it turned out that day, we spent the entire day at my sister’s house helping her stage it as they were listing it on the market w/ Simon this week. Jude had no nap and passed out in the car the second we left at 6:30pm. So when we got home, I thought I’d just put him to bed and call it a day. UM, NO. Cue the sleepyhead epic meltdown as he realized where we were headed halfway up the stairs (TO BED!). Me, not wanting to break a promise, said rather shortly, “Fine. Which one do you want to do? Gingerbread house or cookies?” He woefully muttered through the tears, “Gingerbwead house.”

So I got out all the trimmings and set them up on the island in the kitchen. I was exhausted but had to make cookies later that night anyway for a cookie swap I was participating in the next day. As I turned around, I saw Jude dump out half the container of sprinkles all over the floor. Then as we tried to put together the gingerbread house, it kept breaking & crumbling. It was the biggest disaster.

Just as I tried to attach the roof, one of the two pieces slid off the top and right onto the floor (frosting side down OF. COURSE.) and promptly crumbled into 1000 pieces. Jude’s sobbing, I’m nearly sobbing, then I yelled for him to go upstairs and get ready for bed. MOTHER OF THE YEAR RIGHT HERE.

AND. AND! As he’s sobbing heading upstairs while I’m cleaning up the frosting lard mess up off the floor, I hear a huge thump and wailing. HE FELL DOWN THE STAIRS. I flipped out and ran to him and made sure he was ok (which he was). It was not the proudest moment of my life, that’s to say the least. It was an early bedtime for both of us.

Oh, and the gingerbread house? More like a gingerbread shanty. Or lean-to. Take your pick. See how I tried to strengthen it with ‘Nilla Wafers? Yeah, not so much.

Well, live and learn, no? This week has been a flurry of work activity as I pressed through to meet my Etsy shop deadlines, which was insane. People were buying like crazy, and that is awesome, but I’m not gonna lie – it brings its own fair share of stress, too.

Have you met TomSam? That’s our Elf. He’s a busy little booger. One of my favorite things this year is seeing all my friends on Facebook as they show the creative ways they’re using their Elf on the Shelf. This was TomSam the other day – he got really busy wrapping presents & tying bows on all the packages.

Tangent: Do you like Brussels Sprouts? I think they’re my most favorite vegetable of all time. I simply adore them.

I can’t get enough of this kid. I hope he knows how much I adore him. I just want to bottle his sweetness up. Today he told me, “Mom, we’re gonna have to move the TV out of the fireplace so Santa can get down the chimney. Oh, and I don’t want him to see all the presents that are already under the tree.” Hahaha

Did I tell you that I got bangs? Yup. Lovin’ ‘em, too!

Speaking of beauty issues, I love how red lipstick dresses up even the most basic look. It really is the perfect accessory.

Wow, ok – completely random post, but sometimes those are the most fun. Certainly the most authentic, huh?

Gearing up for Alt Summit – only 35 more days, y’all!

Let's Chit-Chat { 10 }

8
Dec

Simple Advent Calendar

posted by rachel, December 8, 2011

Ever since I was a child, I have loved advent calendars. There is something so wonderful about the daily anticipation of a little treat, especially in the Christmas season. I’ve seen some awesome ideas floating around the blogosphere and this year I wanted to try something different. Last year I used our little house advent calendar and filled it with teeny tiny treats & ornaments. But then last month I was surfing the iPad version of Martha Stewart and stumbled on a cute little display made of paper bags and string. Super simple and pretty and I could imagine my version hanging on my green buffet.

Full disclosure: I pulled this project together on December 5th because the first 5 days of December were just too crazy for me to have time to get it together.

I purchased teeny tiny Christmas-colored clothespins from Etsy seller Clip & Pin and I purchased the bags from Etsy seller The Party Fairy. There are a bajillion places you can find similar items. I hung the bags on green baker’s twine and taped them down (kinda tackily) as seen below.

I printed the labels off on full-size labels on my printer at home and used a scalloped large hole punch to cut them out.

But what’s inside them? I’m so glad you asked! I loved the idea of doing experiential advent treats. So considering our holiday schedule, I’ve planned out various events that we can do together. For example, the first (ermm, actually the 5th) day, we did “have hot cocoa at Starbucks” and Simon came to join us. Then another day was “put on your jammies & see the Nativity at church tonight” which was one of the things we were planning on doing anyways. There are a few special treats included, though, like a Buzz Lightyear ornament and a Christmas DVD of Rudolph.