And in the blink of an eye, we have already passed a month since Archer was born. I’m still hormonal enough to feel a rising sense of panic – “STOP GROWING!”  In fact, in one particularly emotional evening, I put Jude to bed and came downstairs sobbing. “He’s just so BIG. And the baby is getting bigger! And they’re going to grow up and leave us! They are my babies!”  Simon just patted me. Bless him. haha

So far this kid has been pretty easy going. But probably beyond that, Simon and I are far more relaxed this go-around than we ever were when Jude was born. Blame it on the NICU nurses scaring us half to death and general first-time parent anxiety, but we were a hot mess at this stage with Jude. Poor firstborns – they’re always the parenting experiment, are they not?  Several other moms at J’s school have amazed that we are out and about doing things and coming to school activities with the baby. But after the difficulty of the first few months with a preemie baby, Archer is a breeze. It is SO MUCH EASIER this time!

That isn’t to say that there hasn’t been high and low moments.  I’ve had my moments of panic and anxiety, mostly when home alone with both kids. And Jude has probably had more mood swings than I have. One moment he’s loving on the baby and the next minute he’s covering his ears when the baby’s screaming. And on more than one occasion I’ve looked up to see him carrying the baby around which gives me a petite heart attack every. single. time.  Mostly I’m grateful for the buffer that school has provided; it’s allowing me to get used to the routine of the baby and I’m hopeful that by the time summer rolls around I’ll be a little better at managing both kids at the same time.

Additionally, I was unsure whether or not to attempt to breastfeed, pretty much up until the last month of my pregnancy. I had a really difficult time nursing Jude and I couldn’t get a good supply built up at all, so after five weeks I kicked my pump to the curb and called it quits. Needless to say I had pretty low expectations this time, but so far, so good. I’m nursing and supplementing, and while I’m not going to say it’s been simple, it certainly has been an improvement over the last time. In the lower moments, I’ve cried and wanted to quit but on the good days, I’m proud that we’ve made it this far. My biggest concern was probably immunity due to concern over the baby catching every single bug that school age kids tend to bring home (Lord knows I caught everything when I was pregnant!) as well as it being the height of cold and flu season. But again, there are moments of awkwardness. Jude’s somewhat confused any time he sees me hooked up to the breast pump (“What’s that thing doing?”) and he seems to think that it sucks the milk out of my head through my boobs (HAAAAAA). I reassured him that this was the way that I fed him (albeit briefly!) but I’m just waiting for the moment that he and the neighbor kid walk in on me with boobs out for all to see. This is the hard part – if he were a toddler, he wouldn’t remember his half naked mother feeding the baby, you know?  Life lessons, you guys.

A few notes on my little Archer Bear for my memories:

Loves: milk. Milk. Milk. And more milk. Also his pacifier and being swaddled tightly. Surprisingly, bathtime. Mom & Dad’s Tempurpedic mattress at 2am.

Hates: being naked (haha that will undoubtedly change), having his diaper changed, being strapped into the car seat, waiting in line for carpool.

Nicknames: Nugget, Squishy, Furry Face, Archer Bear.